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Vedic Marriage Ceremony
By S. N. Sastri

"Where womenare honoured, there the gods are pleased; where women are not honoured,there all worship of gods is futile." - Manusmriti, 3.56

"Wherethere is mutual affection and regard between husband and wife, therealone will there be happiness and welfare". - Manusmriti, 3. 60

TheHindu religion, or, to use its original name, Sanaatana Dharma, laysdown a comprehensive scheme for the spiritual development of the humanbeing. The ultimate goal of human life is liberation from the repeatedcycle of births and deaths. All the rites laid down in the Vedas have,as their ultimate purpose, the attainment of this goal. The essentialrequisite for progress towards this goal is purity of mind. The Vedas,supplemented by the Dharma Sastras, prescribe a series of samskaras orsacraments to be undergone by Dvijas (Brahmanas, Kshatriyas andVaisyas) at various stages of life. These sacraments have, apart fromtheir immediate objective, the effect of purifying the mind and makingthe person fit for spiritual progress and ultimate liberation. Some ofthe important samskaras are jaatakarma (performed immediately after thebirth of the child), naamakarana (naming ceremony),, annapraasana(first feeding of rice), upanayana (investing with the sacred thread)and vivaaha (marriage). Of all the sacraments marriage is the mostimportant. Our scriptures accord a very high place to the Grihastha orhouseholder. Those belonging to all the other three orders, namely,Brahmachaaris, Vaanaprasthas and Sannyaasins, depend on the householderfor their sustenance. Manusmriti says:" Just as every creature lives byair, so the other orders of life are sustained by the householder".After completing his studies under a guru the Brahmachaari is enjoinedto enter Grihastha-asrama in the normal course. (It is only for thosevery rare individuals who have attained total detachment towardsworldly affairs that Sannyaasa directly from Brahma-charya isprescribed). One of the mantras in the marriage ceremony says that thepurpose of marriage is to beget virtuous progeny. Only a Grihastha isentitled to perform the rituals prescribed in the Vedas, includingSraaddha to ancestors. There is an anecdote in the Rigveda describingthe origin of the institution of marriage. A god by name Soma desiredto get married and sent the two Aswinidevas to Savita, the father of agirl named Sooryaa, to ask for her hand. Savita agreed to give hisdaughter in marriage to Soma. Then the bridegroom Soma went to Savita'shouse and was received there with honours. Sooryaa was given inmarriage to Soma with the god of fire as the witness. Our marriageshave been modelled on this episode from time immemorial. There is oneitem in the marriage ceremony, known as Vara-preshanam, which isreminiscent of this episode and re-enacts it by the chanting of mantrasimplying the sending of two or four Brahmanas by the prospectivebridegroom to seek the consent of the father of the prospective bride.

Inour tradition, marriage is not merely bringing about the relationshipof husband and wife between a man and a woman. It is the union of twofamilies, who merge as one.

Marriage is considered to be thegifting of a virgin girl by her father or guardian to a deserving boy.This gift, called Kanyaadaanam, is considered to be the mostpraiseworthy of all gifts. In one of the mantras in this ceremony thefather (or whoever is giving the girl in marriage) prays to LordMahavishnu that, by this gift, his own generation and ten generationsbefore him as well as ten generations after him may be blessed withsupreme bliss in Brahmaloka. He then worships the feet of thebridegroom, looking upon him as Mahavishnu Himself.

In all Vedicceremonies dakshina to the officiating priests and 'daanam' or thegifting of cash and various useful articles to the priests and otherBrahmanas present forms an important ingredient. This should not belooked upon as mere charity intended to benefit the recipients. Themain purpose of these gifts is to help the spiritual progress of thegiver. The tendency to accumulate wealth and cling on to it is naturalin every human being. The Upanishads declare that as long as thistendency remains in the mind, there is no hope of spiritual progressfor the individual. A hymn in the Saamaveda exhorts every one tocounter this tendency by giving freely of one's wealth to others. Inthe Brihadaaranyaka Upanishad Brahma, the Creator, instructs humanbeings to give 'daanam' liberally, in order that they may get rid ofthe defect of greed which is a serious obstacle to spiritual progress.The Bhagavadgita says that greed is one of the gates to hell. It istherefore in the interest of the spiritual development of the giverthat the institution of 'daanam' has been built into every religiousceremony. Giving of gifts during ceremonies such as marriages has thusa two-fold objective, namely to earn merit (punya) as well as tofacilitate spiritual progress towards the ultimate goal of liberation.The importance of dakshina is brought out in the following extract fromthe Bhashya (commentary) of Sri Sankaracharya on the BrihadaaranyakaUpanishad: "The yajna (sacrifice or any other Vedic ritual) rests onthe dakshina to the priests. The fruit of the Vedic rite accruesinitially to the priests who actually perform it. It has to be acquiredby the yajamaana (the person for whose benefit the ritual is meant) bypaying dakshina to the priests. The dakshina rests on faith becausewhen a man has faith he gives dakshina to the priests; if he has nofaith, he does not give it. 'Faith' implies liberality--- faith in theVedas coupled with devotion". There is a tendency among some people tospend lavishly on all other items in a marriage but to economise whenit comes to dakshina and daanam. Compared to the total amount that hasto be spent on a marriage these days the amount that goes out by way ofdaanam and dakshina is a very small percentage, but the result attainedcannot be evaluated in material terms. One should therefore be asliberal in giving dakshina and daanam as he is in respect of the otheritems of expenditure.

The mantras chanted during the marriageceremony were handed down to posterity thousands of years ago by ourancient sages who 'saw' them in their state of super-consciousness orcommunion with the divine. The mantras express lofty ideas and havegreat spiritual potency. The vibrations set in motion by the chantingof the mantras purify the marriage hall as well as all those presentthere. The persons belonging to the bride's party and the bridegroom'sparty should listen to the mantras with devotion and faith so that themaximum benefit may be derived. The bridegroom's father, the bridegroomand the bride's father should, when they perform the various rituals,repeat the mantras after the priest with devotion and faith (Bhakti andSraddha). Devotion and faith are very important. Lord Krishna says inthe Bhagavadgita that he accepts even insignificant offerings, such asa leaf, flower, fruit or even just water, so long as they are made withdevotion. He further says that any yajna, daanam, austerity or anyother rite performed without faith does not benefit the person eitherin this world or in the next. The Chaandogya Upanishad makes it clearthat chanting mantras even without knowing their meaning does conferbenefit, though the benefit will be greater if the person chantingknows the meaning also. Marriage is not merely a joyous occasion, but,more than that, it is essentially a religious function with greatsanctity attached to it. The guests who attend the marriage ceremonywill contribute greatly to the lasting welfare and happiness of thebride and bridegroom if they observe silence, listen to the mantras,and keep mentally praying to God to bless the couple, instead of merelyengaging in conversation with others. Nowadays the decibel level in amarriage hall goes up so high that the chanting of the mantras cannotbe heard. We, the educated elite, should bring about a wholesome changein this situation so that the sanctity of the marriage ceremony may bemaintained and the full benefit of the mantras may be derived. Anotherpoint to be stressed here is that no one should shake hands with thebride or bridegroom until the marriage ceremony is completed. It wouldbe advisable if the invitees wait till the end of the marriage ceremonyto offer their presents to the bride and bride-groom. Those who want toleave early would do well to hand over their presents to some othermember of the family concerned instead of interrupting the ceremony byinsisting on giving them to the bride or bride-groom.

It mustbe pointed out here that there is no sanction whatsoever in thescriptures for the demand or acceptance of dowry in cash or in kind.This is an evil which has crept into the society and which deserves tobe eradicated. It will also be seen from the episode of the marriage ofSoma to Sooryaa narrated above that it is the prospective bridegroomwho has to take the initiative in searching for a bride and not theparents of the bride as has become the practice now.

The variousitems in the marriage ceremony are essentially the same for personsbelonging to all the three Vedas, but there are differences in somedetails, depending on the Veda to which the bridegroom belongs. Thesedifferences will be pointed out at the appropriate places. The marriageceremony as performed by the Brahmin community in Tamil Nadu is what isdescribed here.

The various limbs of the actual marriage ceremony will now be described.

Onthe afternoon of the day preceding the marriage the bridegroom's partysets out for the marriage hall. Before starting, a puja to Lord Ganesais performed by the bridegroom's father.

Jaanuvaasam:
On theevening preceding the day of the marriage, the bride and bridegroom andthe members of their families go to a temple and offer worship. In thepast the bridegroom used to be taken in a procession, but this is doneonly rarely nowadays. The term 'Jaanuvaasam' puzzles most people.'Jaanu' means, in Sanskrit, 'knee' and 'vaasa' means 'cloth'. ABrahmachari is, according to the Sastras, expected to wear only asingle dhoti which reaches up to his knees. When he becomes aGrihastha, he has to wear 'panchakaccham' and an upper cloth. (The word‘panchakaccham' is wrongly pronounced by most people as ‘panchgaccham'.Kaccham means an end or hem of the dhoti and pancha means five. In thisway of wearing the dhoti, five ends are tucked in and hence the namepanchakaccham). The occasion on which he wears the single dhoti up tothe knees for the last time is known by the term 'Jaanuvaasam'. Theterm persists, though no one follows these conventions about dressnowadays.

Samaavartanam:
The main rite preceding the actualmarriage is Samaavartanam (popularly known as Vratham). This representsgraduation on the completion of studies by the Brahmachaari under aguru and is the prelude to the marriage. In ancient times this wasperformed by the Brahmachaari while leaving the gurukulam on completionof studies. This is done either on the morning of the day of themarriage or on the previous morning according to convenience. Thefollowing items form part of this rite:--

1. Ankuraarpanam: Theseeds of certain grains are sown in five earthen pots after worshippingthem with mantras. Four of these pots are placed in the four cardinaldirections and the fifth in the centre. These are kept in a safe placetill the completion of the marriage ceremony. They are then immersed inwater in a temple tank or other convenient place. The idea behind thisrite is the worship of the various gods to get their blessing for thesmooth conduct of the marriage. The pot at the centre representsBrahma, and the other four pots represent Indra, Yama, Varuna and Soma.

2.Naandi or Abhyudaya sraadham: The purpose of this is to propitiate theancestors. The term 'abhyudaya' stands for the first threePurusharthas, namely Dharma, Artha and Kaama. By this rite the blessingof the manes is prayed for, for the attainment of these Purushaarthas.It is said in Valmiki Ramayana (Balakanda, Sarga 72, sloka 19) thatking Dasaratha performed Naandi before the marriage of Sri Rama toSita. This rite is to be performed at the commencement of everyreligious function.

3. Pratisarakarma: A thread dipped inturmeric powder and sanctified with mantras is tied around the wrist ofthe right hand for males and the left hand for females, with thechanting of mantras. This indicates that the person has taken a vow tocomplete the religious rites undertaken with full faith and devotion.

4.Snaanakarma: Certain rituals are performed with the chanting ofmantras. The bridegroom has a shave and bath. Then he wears'panchakaccham', and two sacred threads (yajnopavitam).

5.Kaasiyaatra: The bride's father tells the bridegroom: "Please do not goto Kaasi. I shall give my daughter in marriage to you. Please accepther hand and attain all welfare and prosperity". This function may lookcomical, but there is a profound significance in it. Going to Kaasistands for asceticism. The bridegroom is asked to enter grihasthasramainstead of becoming an ascetic, so that he can discharge the threedebts to the gods, Rishis and ancestors. Every one is born with thesethree debts. The debt to the Rishis is discharged by the study of theVedas, the debt to the gods by the performance of sacrifices and thedebt to the ancestors by performing Vedic rituals and begetting a son.The last two are possible only in the grihasthasrama.

The samaavartanam ends with this.

Exchange of garlands and 'oonjal' (swing):
Thebride and bridegroom exchange garlands. This symbolises the freeexchange of ideas between the two after marriage, indicating thatneither of them will keep back anything from the other. They then siton the swing. The swing is said to symbolise the ups and downs of life,which the couple have to face unitedly with confidence and full faithin each other. This is an occasion for ladies to sing songs in liltingtunes.

The actual marriage ceremony now begins. The bridegroomprays to the assembled priests and Brahmanas and all elders to blesshim and make him fit to go through the marriage ceremony. He thenperforms puja to Lord Ganesa. He chants a mantra which says that he ismarrying in order to beget virtuous progeny.

Varapreshanam:
Asstated earlier, this is reminiscent of the marriage of Soma andSooryaa. The bridegroom requests two or four of the Brahmanas presentto find a suitable bride for him from a good family. The Brahmanasrequest the bride's father to give his daughter in marriage to thebridegroom for begetting virtuous progeny. The bride's father gives hisconsent by saying three times, "I shall give". All this is done throughappropriate mantras. Before this the bride's father should haveperformed all the preliminary rites for the bride, such as jaatakarma,etc.

After this there are some rituals for purification, known as punyaaha-vaachanam.

Varapooja:
This is worship of the bridegroom by the bride's father, looking upon him as Lord Mahavishnu Himself.

Kanyaadaanam:
Thebride's father sits facing east on a raised seat. The bride sits on hislap. The bridegroom stands facing them. The 'Pravara' (lineage) of boththe families is then recited by the father of the bride. A samplePravara runs thus: '"To the bridegroom named Krishna Sarma, belongingto Samaveda, who is Mahavishnu Himself, who is the great grandson ofNarayana Sarma belonging to Bharadwaja gothra, and the grandson ofMahadeva Sarma, and the son of Viswanatha Sarma, I give my daughternamed Jayalakshmi, who is the great grand daughter of Sundaresa Sarmabelonging to Kausika gothra, the grand daughter of Ramaswami Sarma, andthe daughter of Rajagopala Sarma". The mantra further says: "I beingdesirous of attaining Brahmaloka, give my daughter, adorned with goldornaments, to you, Mahavishnu. May all the gods and goddesses and allthe beings who support the universe be the witnesses. I am giving thisdaughter so that my ancestors may attain salvation. May I attain mokshaby gifting my daughter to you. I give this daughter of mine to you forbegetting virtuous progeny and for performing religious rites." He thenplaces the hands of the bride in the hands of the bridegroom. Thebridegroom clasps the right hand of the bride and both sit down forperforming the further rituals.

Purification of the bride:
Forthis there is a rite in the marriage ceremony of Rigvedins andYajurvedins. As there are various wrong notions about this rite, it isdescribed here along with its real significance. A miniature yoke madeof wood is placed on the head of the bride. The thirumangalyam isplaced near the hole in the yoke and water is poured drop by dropthrough the hole on the bride. This is based on an old story accordingto which sage Atri had a daughter by name Apaalaa. She had some skindisease because of which nobody was willing to marry her. She didpenance and prayed to Indra. Indra came and poured water on her throughthe hole in the yoke of his chariot. She not only became completelyfree from the disease, but also lustrous like the sun. The mantrasrecited in this context are taken from Apaalaa's hymns of praise in theRigveda. This rite is not performed when the bridegroom is aSaamavedin. Instead, the bride is purified by the singing of someSaamaveda chants.

The bridegroom then gives a sari (Koorapudavai)to the bride. She goes inside, wears it and comes back. Thebridegroom's sister is asked to help the bride to wear this sari.During this interval the priests should be asked to sing hymns from theSaamaveda if the bridegroom is a Saamavedin. In Rigvedic and Yajurvedicmarriages the priests should chant Ghanam.

Maangalyadhaaranam:
Thethirumangalyam (or Mangalasutra) is first taken round to get theblessings of the elders present in the marriage hall. Then thebridegroom invokes Maangalya Devataa on the thirumangalyam and performspuja with the 16 upachaaras (shodasopachaara).

The bride's fathersits on the raised seat, facing east. The bride sits on his lap. Thebridegroom places the thirumangalyam around the bride's neck and tiesone knot, chanting a mantra the meaning of which is as below:-- "Oauspicious damsel, I tie this auspicious thread, which ensures longlife for me, around your neck. May you live for a hundred years". Thebride-groom's sister then ties two knots.

Paanigrahanam - Taking the hand of the bride by the bridegroom:
Thebridegroom clasps with his right palm the right palm of the bride,including the thumb and recites mantras which mean: "I take your handso that we may beget virtuous progeny and live till a ripe old age. Thegods Bhaga, Aryamaa, Savita, Indra and others have given you to me tobe the mistress of my house. O Goddess Saraswati, we sing your praisein the presence of all living beings. Please confer your blessings onus. May all the gods make you (the bride) always favourably inclinedtowards me.

Saptapadi - The seven steps:
This is the mostimportant item in the marriage ceremony. It is only after this that themarriage becomes complete and legally valid. The bridegroom holds thejoined palms of the bride with his left hand and with his right hand helifts the right foot of the bride and moves it over seven steps,chanting mantras for each step. The mantras uttered by the bridegroomat each step mean: "O dear damsel, by the first step may Lord Vishnubless us with plenty of food, by the second step with bodily strength,by the third step success in the performance of all vows, by the fourthstep happiness, by the fifth step cattle and all other wealth, by thesixth step may all the seasons be favourable to us, by the seventh stepmay Lord Vishnu bless that we may together perform all the ordainedVedic rites successfully. By taking seven steps with me you have becomemy most intimate friend and well-wisher. I shall never swerve from thisrelationship. God has united us. We shall perform all our actionstogether with mutual love and full faith in each other. We shall alwaysbe of one mind. We shall perform all our religious duties together. Weare complementary to each other. May we have good progeny andprosperity".

Now the bridegroom pours oblations of ghee into thesacred fire. The bride sits by his side, touching him with her righthand, to indicate that the two are performing this rite together.Mantras are chanted to propitiate the various gods, with the followingprayers: "May Indra bless the bride to become attached to her husband'shouse and family, to beget good children and to be prosperous. May Agnibless her children with long life. May she have happiness from herchildren. May she never have to shed tears. May she be protected on allsides by all the gods. May Varuna guard our lives.

Asmaarohanam:
Agrinding stone is kept to the west of the homakunda. The bridegroomholds the joined palms of the bride with his left hand and, lifting theright foot of the bride with his right hand, places it on the grindingstone, chanting a mantra. The gist of the mantra is this: "Get up onthis stone. Be firm like this stone in carrying out your vows. Resistthose who oppose you (in carrying out your vows). Do not succumb tothem." Here the stone is a symbol of firmness. There are various wrongnotions about the significance of this rite also.

Laajahoma - Offering of parched rice into the fire as oblation:
Thebride's brother stands to the right of the bride, facing north. Thebride's mother stands nearby, holding a vessel containing parched rice.The bride's brother takes a handful of grains from the vessel andplaces it in the palms of the bride, which are held by the bridegroomin his folded palms. The grains are then offered into the fire in thehomakunda. While offering the grains the bridegroom chants a mantra,the purport of which is: "This lady is offering these grains asoblation into the fire, saying, 'may my husband live for a hundredyears, may my race prosper'". Parched rise is a symbol of prosperity.Then the bridegroom holds the right hand of the bride and goes roundthe fire, chanting a mantra.

Thereafter the groom again lifts theright foot of the bride and places it on the grinding stone as before,chanting the same mantra as before. Then again, going back to thehomakunda, parched rice is offered as oblation as before. This isfollowed by going round the fire and lifting the right foot of thebride and placing it on the grinding stone for the third time. Parchedrice is again offered into the fire.

Grihapravesam:
The brideand bridegroom go to the bridegroom's house accompanied by the membersof their families. There some mantras are to be chanted by thebridegroom. These mantras indicate the very high place that is accordedto the daughter-in-law in the house. The mantras, addressed to thebride, say:- "Be like an empress in this house. May you be like a queento your father-in-law, mother-in-law, sisters-in-law and others. Byyour affectionate conduct towards all those in your husband's house,may you win them over". These mantras indicate the great importancegiven to the daughter-in-law of the house by the Vedas.

Pravesa homam:
Thisis now performed by the bridegroom. The mantras chanted pray for longlife, prosperity and virtuous children for the couple.

Seeing the Dhruva nakshatra and the Arundhati nakshsatra.

Afterthe stars rise in the horizon, the bridegroom points out these stars tothe bride, chanting some mantras. Dhruva stands for firmness. It isprayed that in their married life this couple should be as firm asDhruva and they should never swerve from the path of Dharma. Arundhatiis the wife of Sage Vasishta and is the symbol of chastity. The idea isthat the bride should be chaste like Arundhati.

There are some variations in the order of the different rites in the three Vedas.

Themarriage ceremony concludes with Asirvadam, or Blessing by the priestsby the chanting of Vedic mantras. Elders bless the couple by sprinklingsanctified rice grains on them. Then presents are given to the coupleby relations and well-wishers as a token of their affection.

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