Complete Works of Swami Vivekananda - Vol-8
CLXXIII
To Mrs. Ole Bull
1719 TURK STREET,
SAN FRANCISCO,
8th April, 1900.
DEAR DHIRA MATA,
Here is a long letter from A__. He seems to be entirely upset. I
am sure a little kindness will completely win him over. He thinks
that you want to drive him out of New York, etc. He awaits my
orders. I have told him to trust you in everything and remain in
New York till I come.
I think, as things stand in New York, they require my presence. Do
you? In that case I shall come over soon.
I have been making enough money to pay my passage. I will stop on
my way at Chicago and Detroit.
Of course by that time you will be off. A__ has done good work so
far; and, of course, you know I do not meddle with my workers at
all.
The man who can work has an individuality of his own and resists
any pressure there. That is my reason in leaving workers entirely
free. Of course you are on the spot and know best. Advise me what
to do.
The remittance to Calcutta has duly reached. I got news of it by
this mail. My cousin sends her respects and thanks, but she is
sorry she cannot write English.
I am getting better every day, and even walking uphill. There are
falls now and then, but the duration is decreasing constantly. My
thanks to Mrs. Milton.
I had a little note from Siri Gryanander. Poor girl, she is so
thankful to be trusted. That is just like Mrs. Leggett - good,
good, good. Money is not evil after all - in good hands. I hope
fervently Siri will completely recover, poor child.
I will leave here in about two weeks. I go to a place called Star
Klon and then start for the East. It may be I may go to Denver
also. With all love to Joe,
Ever your son,
VIVEKANANDA.
PS. I do not any more doubt my ultimate cure; you ought to see me
working like a steam engine cooking, eating anything and
everything, and, all the same, sleeping well and keeping well!
I have not done any writing - no time. I am so glad Mrs. Leggett
is much better and walking about naturally. I expect her complete
recovery soon and pray for it.
V.
PS. I had a nice letter from Mrs. Sevier; they are going on
splendidly with the work. Plague has broken out severely at
Calcutta, but no hullabaloo over it this time.
V.
PS. Did you reveal to A__ that I have given over to you the charge
of the entire work? Well, you know best how to do things; but he
seems to be hurt at that.
V.
CLXXIV
To Miss Josephine MacLeod
1719 TURK STREET,
SAN FRANCISCO,
10th April, 1900.
DEAR JOE,
There is a squabble in New York, I see. I got a letter from A__
stating that he was going to leave New York. He thought Mrs. Bull
and you have written lots against him to me. I wrote him back to
be patient and wait, and that Mrs. Bull and Miss MacLeod wrote
only good things about him.
Well, Joe Joe, you know my method in all these rows; to leave all
rows alone! "Mother" sees to all such things. I have finished my
work. I am retired, Joe. "Mother" will work now Herself. That is
all.
Now, as you say, I am going to send all the money I have made
here. I could do it today, but I am waiting to make it a thousand.
I expect to make a thousand in Frisco by the end of this week. I
will buy a draft on New York and send it or ask the bank the best
way to do it.
I have plenty of letters from the Math and the Himalayan centre.
This morning came one from Swarupananda. Yesterday one from Mrs.
Sevier.
I told Mrs. Hansborough about the photos.
You tell Mr. Leggett from me to do what is best about the Vedanta
Society matter. The only thing I see is that in every country we
have to follow its own method. As such, if I were you, I would
convene a meeting of all the members and sympathisers and ask them
what they want to do. Whether they want to organise or not, what
sort of organisation they want if any, etc. But Lordy, do it on
your own hook. I am quits. Only if you think my presence would be
of any help I can come in fifteen days.
I have finished my work here; only, out of San Francisco, Stockton
is a little city I want to work a few days in; then I go East. I
think I should rest now, although I can have $100 a week average
in this city, all along. This time I want to let upon New York the
charge of the Light Brigade.
With all love,
Ever yours affectionately,
VIVEKANANDA.
PS. If the workers are all averse to organising, do you think
there is any benefit in it? You know best. Do what you think best.
I have a letter from Margot from Chicago. She asks some questions;
I am going to reply.
V.
CLXXV
To an American friend
ALAMEDA, CALIFORNIA,
12th April, 1900.
Mother is becoming propitious once more. Things are looking up.
They must.
Work always brings evil with it. I have paid for the accumulated
evil with bad health. I am glad. My mind is all the better for it.
There is a mellowness and a calmness in life now, which was never
there before. I am learning now how to be detached as well as
attached, and mentally becoming my own master. . . .
Mother is doing Her own work; I do not worry much now. Moths like
me die by the thousand every instant. Her work goes on all the
same. Glory unto Mother! . . . Alone and drifting about in the
will-current of the Mother has been my whole life. The moment I
have tried to break this, that moment I have been hurt. Her will
be done! . . .
I am happy, at peace with myself, and more of the Sannyasin than I
ever was before. The love for my own kith and kin is growing less
every day, and that for Mother increasing. Memories of long nights
of vigil with Shri Ramakrishna under the Dakshineswar Banyan are
waking up once more. And work? What is work? Whose work? Whom
shall I work for?
I am free. I am Mother's child. She works, She plays. Why should I
plan? What should I plan? Things came and went, just as She liked,
without my planning. We are Her automata. She is the wirepuller.
CLXXVI
To Miss Josephine MacLeod
ALAMEDA, CALIFORNIA,
20th April, 1900.
MY DEAR JOE,
Received your note today. I wrote you one yesterday but directed
it to England thinking you will be there.
I have given your message to Mrs. Betts. I am so sorry this little
quarrel came with A__. I got also his letter you sent. He is
correct so far as he says, "Swami wrote me 'Mr. Leggett is not
interested in Vedanta and will not help any more. You stand on
your own feet.'" It was as you and Mrs. Leggett desired me to
write him from Los Angeles about New York - in reply to his asking
me what to do for funds.
Well, things will take their own shape, but it seems in Mrs.
Bull's and your mind there is some idea that I ought to do
something. But in the first place I do not know anything about the
difficulties. None of you write me anything about what that is
for, and I am no thought-reader. You simply wrote me a general
idea that A__ wanted to keep things in his hands. What can I
understand from it? What are the difficulties? Regarding what the
differences are about, I am as much in the dark as about the exact
date of the Day of Destruction! And yet Mrs. Bull's and your
letters show quite an amount of vexation! These things get
complicated sometimes, in spite of ourselves. Let them take their
shape.
I have executed and sent the will to Mr. Leggett as desired by
Mrs. Bull.
I am going on, sometimes well and at other times ill. I cannot
say, on my conscience, that I have been the least benefited by
Mrs. Milton. She has been good to me, I am very thankful. My love
to her. Hope she will benefit others.
For writing to Mrs. Bull this fact, I got a four page sermon, as
to how I ought to be grateful and thankful, etc., etc. All that
is, sure, the outcome of this A__ business! Sturdy and Mrs.
Johnson got disturbed by Margot, and they fell upon me. Now A__
disturbs Mrs. Bull and, of course, I have to bear the brunt of it.
Such is life!
You and Mrs. Leggett wanted me to write him to be free and
independent and that Mr. Leggett was not going to help them. I
wrote it - now what can I do? If John or Jack does not obey you,
am I to be hanged for it? What do I know about this Vedanta
Society? Did I start it? Had I any hand in it? Then again, nobody
condescends to write me anything about what the affair is! Well,
this world is a great fun.
I am glad Mrs. Leggett is recovering fast. I pray every moment for
her complete recovery. I start for Chicago on Monday. A kind lady
has given me a pass up to New York to be used within three months.
The Mother will take care of me. She is not going to strand me now
after guarding me all my life.
Ever yours gratefully,
VIVEKANANDA.
CLXXVII
To Miss Mary Hale
23rd April, 1900.
MY DEAR MARY,
I ought to have started today but circumstances so happened that I
cannot forgo the temptation to be in a camp under the huge
red-wood trees of California before I leave. Therefore I postpone
it for three or four days. Again after the incessant work I
require a breath of God's free air before I start on this
bone-breaking journey of four days.
Margot insists in her letter that I must keep my promise to come
to see Aunt Mary in fifteen days. It will be kept - only in twenty
days instead of fifteen. By that I avoid the nasty snowstorm
Chicago had lately and get a little strength too.
Margot is a great partisan of Aunt Mary it seems, and other people
besides me have nieces and cousins and aunts.
I start tomorrow to the woods. Woof! get my lungs full of ozone
before getting into Chicago. In the meanwhile keep my mail for me
when it comes to Chicago and don't send it off here like a good
girl as you are.
I have finished work. Only a few days' rest, my friends insist -
three or four - before facing the railway.
I have got a free pass for three months from here to New York; no
expense except the sleeping car; so, you see, free, free!
Yours affectionately,
VIVEKANANDA.
CLXXVIII
To Miss Mary Hale
30th April, 1900.
MY DEAR MARY,
Sudden indisposition and fever prevent my starting for Chicago
yet. I will start as soon as I am strong for the journey. I had a
letter from Margot the other day. Give her kindly my love, and
know yourself my eternal love. Where is Harriet? Still in Chicago?
And the McKindley sisters? To all my love.
VIVEKANANDA.
CLXXIX
To Sister Nivedita
2nd May, 1900.
MY DEAR NIVEDITA,
I have been very ill - one more relapse brought about by months of
hard work. Well, it has shown me that I have no kidney or heart
disease whatsoever, only overworked nerves. I am, therefore, going
today in the country for some days till I completely recover,
which I am sure will be in a few days.
In the meanwhile I do not want to read any India letters with the
plague news etc. My mail is coming to Mary; either she or you keep
them (you, if she goes away) till I return.
I am going to throw off all worry, and glory unto Mother.
Mrs. C. P. Huntington, a very, very wealthy lady, who has helped
me, came; wants to see and help you. She will be in New York by
the first of June. Do not go away without seeing her. If I cannot
come early enough, I will send you an introduction to her.
Give my love to Mary. I am leaving here in a few days.
Ever yours with blessings,
VIVEKANANDA.
PS. The accompanying letter is to introduce you to Mrs. M. C.
Adams, wife of Judge Adams. Go to see her immediately. Much good
may come out of it. She is well known; find out her address.
V.
CLXXX
To Sister Nivedita
SAN FRANCISCO,
26th May, 1900.
DEAR NIVEDITA,
All blessings on you. Don't despond in the least. Shri wah Guru!
Shri wah Guru! You come of the blood of a Kshatriya. Our yellow
garb is the robe of death on the field of battle. Death for the
cause is our goal, not success. Shri wah Guru! . . .
Black and thick are the folds of sinister fate. But I am the
master. I raise my hand, and lo, they vanish! All this is
nonsense. And fear? I am the Fear of fear, the Terror of terror, I
am the fearless secondless One, I am the Rule of destiny, the
Wiper-out of fact. Shri wah Guru! Steady, child, don't be bought
by gold or anything else, and we win!
VIVEKANANDA.
CLXXXI
To Miss Mary Hale
1921 W. 21 STREET,
LOS ANGELES,
17th June, 1900.
MY DEAR MARY,
It is true I am much better, but not yet completely recovered;
anyway, the complexion of the mind is one belonging to everyone
that suffers. It is neither gas nor anything else.
Kâli worship is not a necessary step in any religion. The
Upanishads teach us all there is of religion. Kali worship is my
special fad; you never heard me preach it, or read of my preaching
it in India. I only preach what is good for universal humanity. If
there is any curious method which applies entirely to me, I keep
it a secret and there it ends. I must not explain to you what Kali
worship is, as I never taught it to anybody.
You are entirely mistaken if you think the Boses are rejected by
the Hindu people. The English rulers want to push him into a
corner. They don't of course like that sort of development in the
Indian race. They make it hot for him, that is why he seeks to go
elsewhere.
By the "anglicised" are meant people who by their manners and
conduct show that they are ashamed of us poor, old type Hindus. I
am not ashamed of my race or my birth or nationality. That such
people are not liked by the Hindus, I cannot wonder.
Ceremonials and symbols etc. have no place in our religion which
is the doctrine of the Upanishads, pure and simple. Many people
think the ceremonial etc. help them in realising religion. I have
no objection.
Religion is that which does not depend upon books or teachers or
prophets or saviours, and that which does not make us dependent in
this or in any other lives upon others. In this sense Advaitism of
the Upanishads is the only religion. But saviours, books,
prophets, ceremonials, etc. have their places. They may help many
as Kali worship helps me in my secular work. They are welcome.
The Guru, however, is a different idea. It is the relation between
the transmitter and the receiver of force - psychic power and
knowledge. Each nation is a type, physically and mentally. Each is
constantly receiving ideas from others only to work them out into
its type, that is, along the national line. The time has not come
for the destruction of types. All education from any source is
compatible with the ideals in every country; only they must be
nationalised, i.e. fall in line with the rest of the type
manifestation.
Renunciation is always the ideal of every race; only other races
do not know what they are made to do by nature unconsciously.
Through the ages one purpose runs sure. And that will be finished
with the destruction of this earth and the sun! And worlds are
always in progress indeed! And nobody as yet developed enough in
any one of the infinite worlds to communicate with us! Bosh! They
are born, show the same phenomena, and die the same death!
Increasing purpose! Babies! Live in the land of dreams, you
babies!
Well, now about me. You must persuade Harriet to give me a few
dollars every month, and I will have some other friends do the
same. If I succeed, I fly off to India. I am dead tired of the
platform work for a living. It does not please me any more. I
retire and do some writing if I can do some scholarly work.
I am coming soon to Chicago, hope to be there in a few days. Say,
would not Mrs. Adams be able to get up a class for me to pay my
passage back?
Of course I shall try different places. So much of optimism has
come to me, Mary, that I should fly off to the Himalayas if I had
wings.
I have worked for this world, Mary, all my life, and it does not
give me a piece of bread without taking a pound of flesh.
If I can get a piece of bread a day, I retire entirely; but this
is impossible - this is the increasing purpose that is unfolding
all the devilish inwardness, as I am getting older!
Ever yours in the Lord,
VIVEKANANDA.
PS. If ever a man found the vanity of things, I have it now. This
is the world, hideous, beastly corpse. Who thinks of helping it is
a fool! But we have to work out our slavery by doing good or evil;
I have worked it out, I hope. May the Lord take me to the other
shore! Amen! I have given up all thoughts about India or any land.
I am now selfish, want to save myself!
"He who revealed unto Brahmâ (the first of the gods) the Vedas,
who is manifest in every heart, unto Him I take refuge, hoping
deliverance from bondage."
V.
CLXXXII
To Miss Mary Hale
VEDANTA SOCIETY,
146 E. 55TH STREET,
NEW YORK,
23rd June, 1900.
MY DEAR MARY,
Many, many thanks for your beautiful letter. I am very well and
happy and same as ever. Waves must come before a rise. So with me.
I am very glad you are going to pray. Why don't you get up a
Methodist camp-meeting? That will have quicker effect, I am sure.
I am determined to get rid of all sentimentalism, and
emotionalism, and hang me if you ever find me emotional. I am the
Advaitist; our goal is knowledge - no feelings, no love, as all
that belongs to matter and superstition and bondage. I am only
existence and knowledge.
Greenacre will give you good rest. I am sure. I wish you all joy
there. Don't for a moment worry on my account. "Mother" looks
after me. She is bringing me fast out of the hell of emotionalism,
and bringing me into the light of pure reason. With everlasting
wishes for your happiness,
Ever your brother,
VIVEKANANDA.
PS. Margot starts on the 26th. I may follow in a week or two.
Nobody has any power over me, for I am the spirit. I have no
ambition; it is all Mother's work; I have no part.
V.
I could not digest your letter as the dyspepsia was rather bad
last few days.
V.
Non-attachment has always been there. It has come in a minute.
Very soon I stand where no sentiment, no feeling, can touch me.
V.
CLXXXIII
To Miss Mary Hale
102 E. 58TH STREET,
NEW YORK,
11th July, 1900.
MY DEAR DEVOTED SISTER,
I was glad to get your note as also to learn that you were going
to Greenacre. Hope you will have much profit. I have been much
censured by everyone for cutting off my long hair. I am sorry. You
forced me to do it.
I had been to Detroit and came back yesterday. Trying as soon as
possible to go to France, thence to India. Very little news here;
the work is closed. I am taking regularly my meals and sleeping -
that is all.
Ever faithful and loving brother,
VIVEKANANDA.
PS. Write to the girls to send my mails, if any, at Chicago.
V.
CLXXXIV
To Swami Turiyananda
102 E. 58TH STREET,
NEW YORK,
18th July, 1900.
MY DEAR TURIYANANDA,
Your letter reached me redirected. I stayed in Detroit for three
days only. It is frightfully hot here in New York. There was no
Indian mail for you last week. I have not heard from Sister
Nivedita yet.
Things are going on the same way with us. Nothing particular. Miss
Müller cannot come in August. I will not wait for her. I take the
next train. Wait till it comes. With love to Miss Boocke,
Yours in the Lord,
VIVEKANANDA.
PS. Kali went away about a week ago to the mountains. He cannot
come back till September. I am all alone, and washing; I like it.
Have you seen my friends? Give them my love.
V.
CLXXXV
To Miss Josephine MacLeod
102 E. 58TH STREET,
NEW YORK,
20th July, 1900.
DEAR JOE,
Possibly before this reaches you I shall be in Europe, London or
Paris as the chance of steamer comes.
I have straightened out my business here. The works are at Mr.
Whitmarsh's suggestion in the hands of Miss Waldo.
I have to get the passage and sail. Mother knows the rest.
My intimate friend did not materialise yet and writes she will
come sometime in August, and she is dying to see a Hindu, and her
soul is burning for Mother India.
I wrote her I may see her in London. Mother knows again. Mrs.
Huntington sends love to Margot and expects to hear from her if
she is not too busy with her scientific exhibits.
With all love to "sacred cow" of India, to yourself, to the
Leggetts, to Miss (what's her name?), the American rubber plant.
Ever yours in the Lord,
VIVEKANANDA.
CLXXXVI
To Miss Josephine MacLeod
102 E. 58TH STREET,
NEW YORK,
24th July, 1900.
DEAR JOE,
The sun = Knowledge. The stormy water = Work. The lotus = Love.
The serpent = Yoga. The swan = the Self. The Motto = May the Swan
(the Supreme Self) send us that. It is the mind-lake. (This
explains the design on the Ramakrishna Math and Mission seal,
printed on the title page of this volume - Ed.) How do you like
it? May the Swan fill you with all these anyway.
I am to start on Thursday next, by the French steamer La
Champagne. The books are in the hands of Waldo and Whitmarsh. They
are nearly ready.
I am well, getting better - and all right till I see you next
week.
Ever yours in the Lord,
VIVEKANANDA.
CLXXXVII
(Translated from Bengali)
To Swami Turiyananda
102 E. 58TH STREET,
NEW YORK,
25th July, 1900.
DEAR TURIYANANDA,
I received a letter from Mrs. Hansborough telling me of your visit
to her. They like you immensely, and I am sure you have found in
them genuine, pure, and absolutely unselfish friends.
I am starting for Paris tomorrow. Things all turn that way. Kali
is not here. He is rather worried at my going away, but it has got
to be.
Address your next letter to me care of Mr. Leggett, 6 Place des
Etats Unis, Paris, France.
Give my love to Mrs. Wyckoff, Hansborough, and to Helen. Revive
the clubs a bit and ask Mrs. Hansborough to collect the dues as
they fall and send them to India. Sarada writes they are having
rather hot times. My kind regards for Miss Boocke.
With all love,
Ever yours in the Lord,
VIVEKANANDA
CLXXXVIII
(Translated from Bengali)
To a Brahmacharin (Brahmachari Harendra Nath) of the Advaita
Ashrama, Mayavati
NEW YORK,
August, 1900.
DEAR __,
I had a letter from you several days ago, but I could not reply
earlier. Mr. Sevier speaks well of you in his letter. I am very
pleased at this.
Write to me in minute detail who all are there, and what each one
is doing. Why don't you write letters to your mother? What is
this? Devotion to the mother is the root of all welfare. How is
your brother getting on with his studies at Calcutta? The
Sannyasin-names of those there escape my memory - how to address
each? Give my love to all conjointly. I got the news that Khagen
has now fully recovered. This is happy news. Write to me whether
the Seviers are attending to your comforts and other details. I am
glad to know that Dinu's health is all right. The boy Kali has a
tendency to become fat; but this will all surely go away by
constantly climbing up and down the hills there. Tell Swarup that
I am very much pleased with his conducting of the paper. He is
doing splendid work. Give to all others also my love and
blessings. Tell everybody that my health is now all right. From
here I shall go to England and from there to India very shortly.
With all blessings,
VIVEKANANDA.
CLXXXIX
(Translated from Bengali)
To Swami Turiyananda
6 PLACE DES ETATS UNIS,
PARIS,
13th August, 1900.
DEAR BROTHER HARI,
I got your letter from California. So three persons are getting
spiritual trances; well, it is not bad. Even out of that much good
will come. Shri Ramakrishna knows! Let things happen as they will.
His work He knows, you and I are but servants and nothing else.
I am sending this letter to San Francisco - care of Mrs. C. Panel.
Just now I got some news from New York. They are well. Kali is on
tour. Write in detail about your health and work in San Francisco.
And don't be indifferent to the question of sending money to the
Math. See that money goes certainly every month, from Los Angeles
and San Francisco.
I am on the whole doing well. I am shortly starting for England. I
get news of Sharat. Recently he had an attack of dysentery. The
rest are all well. This time few got malaria; nor is it so
prevalent on the banks of the Ganga. This year, owing to the
scarcity of rain, there is fear of famine in Bengal also.
By the grace of Mother, go on doing work, brother. Mother knows,
and you know - but I am off! Now I am going to take a rest.
Yours affectionately,
VIVEKANANDA.
CXC
To Mr. John Fox
BOULEVARD HANS SWAN,
PARIS,
14th August, 1900.
JOHN FOX, ESQ.,
6 Dr. Wolf Street,
Dorchester, Mass, U.S., America.
Kindly write Mohin (Mahendranath Datta, younger brother of
Swamiji.) that he has my blessings in whatever he does. And what
he is doing now is surely much better than lawyering, etc. I like
boldness and adventure and my race stands in need of that spirit
very much. Only as my health is failing and I do not expect to
live long, Mohin must see his way to take care of mother and
family. I may pass away any moment. I am quite proud of him now.
Yours affectionately,
VIVEKANANDA.
CXCI
(Translated from Bengali)
To Swami Turiyananda
6 PLACE DES ETATS UNIS,
PARIS,
August, 1900.
DEAR BROTHER HARI,
Now I am staying on the sea-coast of France. The session of the
Congress of History of Religions is over. It was not a big affair;
some twenty scholars chattered a lot on the origin of the
Shâlagrâma and the origin of Jehovah, and similar topics. I also
said something on the occasion.
My body and mind are broken down; I need rest badly. In addition,
there is not a single person on whom I can depend; on the other
hand so long as I live, all will become very selfish depending
upon me for everything. . . . Dealing with people entails constant
mental uneasiness. . . . I have cut myself off by a will. Now I am
writing to say that nobody will have sole power. All will be done
in accordance with the view of the majority. . . . If a trust-deed
on similar lines can be executed, then I am free. . . .
What you are doing is also Guru Maharaj's work. Continue to do it.
Now I have done my part. Don't write to me any more about those
things; do not even mention the subject. I have no opinions
whatever to give on that subject. . . .
Yours affectionately,
VIVEKANANDA.
PS. Convey my love to all.
CXCII
(Translated from Bengali)
To Swami Turiyananda
6 PLACE DES ETATS UNIS,
DA FOREST P.O., SANTA CLARA CO.,
PARIS, FRANCE,
1st September, 1900.
MY DEAR HARI,
I learnt everything from your letter. Earlier I had an inkling of
some trouble between the full-fledged Vedantist and the Home of
Truth - someone wrote that. Such things do occur; wisdom
consists in carrying on the work by cleverly keeping all in good
humour.
For some time now I have been living incognito. I shall stay with
the French to pick up their language. I am somewhat freed from
worries; that is to say, I have signed the trust-deed and other
things and sent them to Calcutta. I have not reserved any right or
ownership for myself. You now possess everything and will manage
all work by the Master's grace.
I have no longer any desire to kill myself by touring. For the
present I feel like settling down somewhere and spending my time
among books. I have somewhat mastered the French language; but if
I stay among the French for a month or two, I shall be able to
carry on conversation well. If one can master this language and
German sufficiently, one can virtually become well acquainted with
European learning. The people of France are mere intellectualists,
they run after worldly things and firmly believe God and souls to
be superstitious; they are extremely loath to talk on such
subjects. This is a truly materialistic country!
Let me see what that Lord does. But this country is at the head of
Western culture, and Paris is the capital of that culture.
Brother, free me from all work connected with preaching. I am now
aloof from all that, you manage it yourselves. It is my firm
conviction that Mother will get work done through all of you a
hundredfold more than through me.
Many days ago I received a letter from Kali. He must have reached
New York by now. Miss Waldo sends news now and then.
I keep sometimes well and sometimes bad. Of late I am again having
that massage treatment by Mrs. Milton, who says, "You have already
recovered!" This much I see - whatever the flatulence, I feel no
difficulty in moving, walking, or even climbing. In the morning I
take vigorous exercise, and then have a dip in cold water.
Yesterday I went to see the house of the gentleman with whom I
shall stay. He is a poor scholar, has his room filled with books
and lives in a flat on the fifth floor. And as there are no lifts
in this country as in America, one has to climb up and down. But
it is no longer trying to me.
There is a beautiful public park round the house. The gentleman
cannot speak English; that is a further reason for my going. I
shall have to speak French perforce. It is all Mother's will. She
knows best what She wants to have done. She never speaks out,
"only keeps mum". But this much I notice that for a month or so I
have been having intense meditation and repetition of the Lord's
name.
Please convey my love to Miss Boocke, Miss Bell, Mrs. Aspinel,
Miss Beckham, Mr. George, Dr. Logan, and other friends and accept
it yourself. My love to all in Los Angeles also.
Yours,
VIVEKANANDA.
CXCIII
(Translated from Bengali)
To Swami Turiyananda
6 PLACE DES ETATS UNIS,
September, 1900.
MY DEAR TURIYANANDA,
Just now I received your letter. Through Mother's will all work
will go on; don't be afraid. I shall soon leave for some other
place. Perhaps I shall be on a tour of Constantinople and other
places for some time. Mother knows what will come next. I have
received a letter from Mrs. Wilmot. From this, too, it appears
that she is very enthusiastic. Sit firm and free from worries.
Everything will be all right. If hearing the Nada etc. does anyone
harm, he can get rid of it if he gives up meditation for a time
and takes to fish and meat. If the body does not become
progressively weak, there is no cause for alarm. Practice should
be slow.
I shall leave this place before your reply comes. So do not send
the reply to this letter here. I have received all the issues of
Sarada's paper, and wrote to him lots a few weeks ago. I have a
mind to send more later on. There is no knowing where my next stop
will be. This much I can say that I am trying to be free from
care.
I received a letter from Kali, too, today. I shall send him a
reply tomorrow. The body is somehow rolling on. Work makes it ill,
and rest keeps it well - that is all. Mother knows. Nivedita has
gone to England. She and Mrs. Bull are collecting funds. She has a
mind to run a school at Kishengarh with the girls she had there.
Let her do what she can. I do not intervene any more in any matter
- that is all.
My love to you. But I have nothing more to advise as regards work.
Yours in service,
VIVEKANANDA.
CXCIV
(Translated from the original in French)
To Madame Emma Calve
6 PLACE DES ETATS UNIS, PARIS,
October, 1900.
MY DEAR MADEMOISELLE,
I have been very happy and content here. I am having the best of
times after many years. I find life here with Mr. Bois very
satisfactory - the books, the calm, and the absence of everything
that usually troubles me.
But I don't know what kind of destiny is waiting for me now.
My letter is funny, isn't it? But it is my first attempt.
Yours faithfully,
VIVEKANANDA.
CXCV
(Translated from the original in French)
To Sister Christine
6 PLACE DES ETATS UNIS,
PARIS,
14th October, 1900.
God bless you at each step, my dear Christine, such is my constant
prayer!
Your letter, so beautiful and so calm, has given me that fresh
energy which I am often losing.
I am happy, yes, I am happy, but the cloud has not left me
entirely. It sometimes comes back, unfortunately, but it no longer
has the morbidity it used to have.
I am staying with a famous French writer, M. Jules Bois. I am his
guest. As he is a man making his living with his pen, he is not
rich; but we have many great ideas in common and feel happy
together.
He discovered me a few years ago and has already translated some
of my pamphlets into French. We shall in the end find what we are
looking for, isn't it?
Thus, I shall travel with Madame Calve, Miss MacLeod, and M. Jules
Bois. I shall be the guest of Madame Calve, the famous singer. We
shall go to Constantinople, the Near East, Greece, and Egypt. On
our way back, we shall visit Venice.
It may be that I shall give a few lectures in Paris after my
return, but they will be in English with an interpreter. I have no
time any more, nor the power to study a new language at my age. I
am an old man, isn't it?
Mrs. Funke is ill. I think she works too hard. She already had
some nervous trouble. I hope she will soon be well.
I am sending all the money I earned in America to India. Now I am
free, the begging-monk as before. I have also resigned from the
Presidentship of the Monastery. Thank God, I am free! It is no
more for me to carry such a responsibility. I am so nervous and so
weak.
"As the birds which have slept in the branches of a tree wake up,
singing when the dawn comes, and soar up into the deep blue sky,
so is the end of my life."
I have had many difficulties, and also some very great successes.
But all my difficulties and suffering count for nothing, as I have
succeeded. I have attained my aim. I have found the pearl for
which I dived into the ocean of life. I have been rewarded. I am
pleased.
Thus it seems to me that a new chapter of my life is opening. It
seems to me that Mother will now lead me slowly and softly. No
more effort on roads full of obstacles, now it is the bed prepared
with birds' down. Do you understand that? Believe me, I feel quite
sure.
The experience of all my life, up to now, has taught me, thank
God, that I always find what I am looking for with eagerness.
Sometimes it is after much suffering, but it does not matter! All
is forgotten in the softness of the reward. You are also going
through troubles, my friend, but you shall have your reward. Alas!
What you now find is not a reward but an additional affliction.
As to myself, I see the cloud lifting, vanishing, the cloud of my
bad Karma. And the sun of my good Karma rises - shining,
beautiful, and powerful. This will also be the case for you, my
friend. My knowledge of this language has not the power to express
my emotion. But which language can really do so?
So I drop it, leaving it to your heart to clothe my thought with a
soft, loving, and shining language. Good night, gute Nacht!
Your devoted friend,
VIVEKANANDA.
PS. We shall leave Paris for Vienna on October 29th. Mr. Leggett
is leaving for the United States by next week. We shall notify the
Post Office to forward our letters to our further destinations.
V.
CXCVI
To Miss Josephine MacLeod
PORT TEWFICK
26th November, 1900.
DEAR JOE,
The steamer was late; so I am waiting. Thank goodness, it entered
the Canal this morning at Port Said. That means it will arrive
sometime in the evening if everything goes right.
Of course it is like solitary imprisonment these two days, and I
am holding my soul in patience.
But they say the change is thrice dear. Mr. Gaze's agent gave me
all wrong directions. In the first place, there was nobody here to
tell me a thing, not to speak of receiving me. Secondly, I was not
told that I had to change my Gaze's ticket for a steamer one at
the agent's office, and that was at Suez, not here. It was good
one way, therefore, that the steamer was late; so I went to see
the agent of the steamer and he told me to exchange Gaze's pass
for a regular ticket.
I hope to board the steamer some time tonight. I am well and happy
and am enjoying the fun immensely. How is Mademoiselle? Where is
Bois? Give my everlasting gratitude and good wishes to Mme. Calve.
She is a good lady.
Hoping you will enjoy your trip.
Ever affectionately yours,
VIVEKANANDA.
CXCVII
To Mrs. Ole Bull
THE MATH, BELUR,
HOWRAH DIST., BENGAL, INDIA,
15 December, 1900.
MY DEAR MOTHER,
Three days ago I reached here. It was quite unexpected - my visit,
and everybody was so surprised.
Things here have gone better than I expected during my absence,
only Mr. Sevier has passed away. It was a tremendous blow, sure,
and I don't know the future of the work in the Himalayas. I am
expecting daily a letter from Mrs. Sevier who is there still.
How are you? Where are you? My affairs here will be straightened
out shortly, I hope, and I am trying my best to straighten them
out.
The remittance you send my cousin should henceforth be sent to me
direct, the bills being drawn in my name. I will cash them and
send her the money. It is better the money goes to her through me.
Saradananda and Brahmananda are much better and this year there is
very little malaria here. This narrow strip on the banks of the
river is always free from malaria. Only when we get a large supply
of pure water the conditions will be perfected here.
VIVEKANANDA.